Sick and tired..

First thing i always ask my friends was,
Was what kind of person i am,
and i didn't know why the answer just sound like a broken record,
These what they would say : "erm.. you are a nice/bad guy with a big mouth"
What i just can do is too say " Ya i guess you are just a friend to me"
But to me,
The way friends get to know each other better is by talking,
So,
If i am classified as too talkative always,
that is because i really wanna know your true face without that mask,
but little do i know that by doing this,
i tend to wear a mask,
a mask to forbid me from being who i once was,
This Fuck out mask has been making my life so miserable,
so miserable that everytime i try to speak,
first thing their mind pop out is this,
"shit.. why can't he just shut his gap or mind his own business,"
or
"He is just so noisy and annoying"..
But its been going on like this and i am getting used to it,
till one day,
i just remember that i am just wearing a mask,
just like others,
Now i felt this mask has worn out,
slowly cracks forming on this very mask,
and i guess when Friday comes,
i will be free from this mask and be myself,
Friends can say the shit out of me,
but they cant form the shit out of me,
any if anyone of you wanna give a piece of your idea of me being emotionally down,
then you can just keep it to yourself,
cause i was stupid to ever think that friends always come first,
Use your brain and flash back,
did i ever say no occasionally to your needs my friends,
did i ever fuck the ass out of you friends,
did i ever take you my friends for granted,
cause i used to be stupid thinking that friends are first and i am last to deal with,
As what a real friend ask me this question,
Real Friend :Wei Yang, do you know what you lived your life for the past 18 years?
Me : Yes i know what i lived for, my friends, my parents and myself"
Real Friend : Then i guess you dont really know what you really lived for.. Cause you put your friends first then comes only to your parents and lastly yourself.. and i am touched that you care for me, but as a friend of yours you need to understand this, You have tons of friends and you cant satisfy all of them. Basically you may treat them using your heart but they may not do the same to you, as they were not you... most important thing is that first you need to feel the satisfaction for what you did for yourself not your friends satisfaction..

When he told my those words i began to think,
am i satisfied with my life
or preferably my friends satisfaction..
and i found that what he told was nothing but the truth..
i have been tolerating and giving them too much space,
which they end up consuming all the space given and even my one little personal space,
Rest assure my friends,
these will all end after Thursday,
i will not ever tolerate illogical request,
i will say no,
i will just fuck the ass out of you if your actions annoyed me,
i wont give a damn about knowing you so much,
i wont ask a question twice anymore,
I wont give a damn about people saying that i PI PATTERN,
I just wont care much about anyone but no one...
Note : Written through the thought of my heart.. no offences to anybody..unless you want to think so, its your own life..

A flower may wither once,
but it never go for twice,
You may trample my heart once,
but there wont be twice,