When the rain pours...

There are times i wanna cry,
and there are times i wanna Laugh,
yet I laugh when my heart is crying,
and I cried when my heart is dying..
still that never stop time from moving,
nor slowing it down for a moment,
and yet i'm still here,
waiting for you,
even the clock continues ticking,
I'm always there,
right where you were suppose to notice me,
and yet you never did..
still i tried calling you out,
and you just walk,
and as time pass,
you were walking further away from me,
not knowing that i'm always standing,
at the same right spot,
hoping that you would just turn and look how far you were from me,
yet you just walk..
and started running when the rain started to pour down on me,
and i saw you stopping at the place,
where rain couldn't lay its tear on you,
right in front of me,
you watched the rain pouring down,
and you saw me alone,
standing right where i had been all this while,
soaked by the rain,
you never noticed that,
i was crying,
under the rain,
where tear merges together with the rain,
regardless of the number of times i cried,
this time,
you ran towards me,
holding an umbrella,
and here you are..
right in front of me,
looking at the tears i had on my face,
thinking that it was the rain on my face,
you tried asking,
persuading me to proceed to the place,
where the rain could never reach me anymore,
yet i tried reasoning to you to stay,
still you refuse..
and now,
I lost you...




-Mat-

Recent days

A week has pass, still i felt emotionless,
i didn't know why,
but everytime when i was at school,
things just look so dull and i'm always feeling tired when i got nothing to do,
it is just because of the emptiness in my heart,
or maybe its because i'm different from before,
and most of all, i'm still staring at the dark cold screen of my phone,
just hoping, maybe there will be a light signifying a message,
Just one message from that someone...
Days past just like that,
trapped and caged myself in my room most of the time doing my homeworks and revising some topics,
yet why i am still thinking...
Was it my fault to send those words,
or maybe it is just what you want me too,
I always wanted to just send you a message,
yet the promise i made to you of not bothering you anymore,
tend to pull string every single time,
i'm just to afraid that i'll be someone which you think as a man that don't keep his promise,
I'm just too afraid.. 
and now..
That all i have,
The feeling of being afraid to lose something precious...